Nick,

When I told you before coming over I only wanted to chill out without having sex this time, you said that’s okay and did it anyways. You took that as “I’ll change her mind” “I’ll just keep begging and pleading and forcing my hands on her body and holding her head so close to mine she could not pull away.” When I told you I had a headache and just needed to rest you told me you would fuck it out of me and forced yourself upon me. I didn’t have the strength to fight it. When I told you I didn’t want to give you head right now, you asked me angrily “well what the hell am I supposed to do?!? Go jerk off in your bathroom?!” “Why don’t you trust me” “let’s just do it now get it over with them we can chill.” “Why not?!” “We’re gonna end up doing it let’s just do it now.” And so I laid there eyes closed with my mind somewhere else waiting for it to be over. Longing for it to just be done. And I thought that was normal, as you were all I ever knew. You raped me and told me that it was love. Now you’ve hurt other women too, and I although it was you who did wrong, somehow I feel guilty, for not speaking up. I know I shouldn’t. But I do. You are a cruel, selfish man. You robbed me of my innocence, my youth, my trust, and so much more. I hope that haunts you everyday, every waking moment, and every bad dream, like it does me.