Dear __________,

I was so young.
I was eight.
You were seventeen.
You can't tell me it was a fucking mistake or an accident.
You knew better, I didn't. You took advantage when my older sister and my half older brother went to my Grandmothers on weekends. I was sleeping, I so happened to wake up, you were on a red computer. That dirty red color I now hate. You were watching Porn, you showed me, I was grossed out. You began to touch me, telling me it was your "Favorite game".
I had to be silent, to keep you safe, because that's what family does. I protected you on something I shouldn't have. I then found out it wasn't only me. I hope you never touched my other siblings. I SWEAR.
I was so scared to tell my mom, thinking she would be disgusted with me. I was afraid to tell my dad, thinking he would do the same. I was afraid to tell my siblings, thinking it would happen to them or they would think I was weird and stop loving me.
I hated my life. I hated waking up and seeing your face. When I found out about my older sister, I wanted to.. kill you. But I held back, I started having chest pains from that.
I felt sick when my friends would tell me that happened to them when they were young or it was still happening. I hated that those people turned the sweetest person "bad," they weren't, they were SERIOUSLY misunderstood. I felt so honored to have people feel that comfortable to tell me stuff like that. But it triggered me. I never told them because I felt like, if that happened to me it would be like telling them to shut up or mine was worse.. when it wasn't. I loved them, they were fucking so brave to tell me that. they were so BRAVE.
I had one boy tell me his. I felt honored and SO DISGUSTED. It was harder to hear his. He then told me I was the only person he ever told. I felt absolutely honored. I felt so connected with him on so many levels. I am only FOURTEEN right now. I have been told I am so mature for my age. I am so serious at times. I have been told I have anger issues. I am sorry for any outbursts I have towards anyone. I feel like I can only have that emotion rather than sadness. if you are reading this, I am so sorry. I love you. I wished I could be loved like how I love other people too. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.